My Story

I went in for my physical two weeks ago and since my periods have been erratic of late, my doctor ran a blood panel for peri-menopause. Big surprise I am pregnant and actually quite pregnant, about 15 weeks.

Were I in an a more academic frame of mind, I might note how context actually creates somatic experiences. The sensations I have, everything below my shoulders and above my knees, now seems like confirmation of my pregnancy. I am sure I had these same bodily sensations the day before, but attributed them to different causes.

In particular, I recently had whooping cough. Exhaustion, sore abdominal muscles, an upset stomach from broad spectrum antibiotics all seemed to explain the way I felt. Had my primary care doc not insisted on running an hCG test along with other hormones I do not know when I would have realized that I was pregnant.

I am the mother to a four year old son and a two year old daughter. I considered my family complete. I went on the pill at 16 so that I'd never have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy, but after the birth of my second child, the pill made me nauseous. My husband planned to get a vasectomy. Exclusively breastfeeding provided good birth control until my daughter was sixteen months old. And yes, like so many of my students have told me, it was the ONE time we didn't use a condom that I got pregnant.

I have always been pro-choice. I participated in the pro-choice movement while in college. As a professor, I have taught the issue many times. While experiencing an unwanted pregnancy has caused to me to relate to the issue differently, it has not challenged my core view, voiced by Margaret Sanger, that every child should be a wanted child.

My abortion is scheduled for three days from now.