The same, but so different

I found out yesterday that a friend's pregnancy has ended sadly. Her first ultrasound revealed cause for concerns, and unfortunately on a repeat procedure, no fetal heart beat was found. Her loss reminds me of my own miscarriage, and how devastatingly sad that time was.

However, having now also had an abortion I cannot help but also refract my response through that lens as well. She will undergo a D and C, the identical procedure to my abortion, although no one refers to as an abortion when the procedure is performed after fetal demise. Why is that? Why is the medical procedure perceived so different under various circumstances?